I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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