Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Randomize
