I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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