My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
