I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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