yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Randomize
