he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
