I'm gonna have a badass scar
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
