plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
