In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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