My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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