i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
