I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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