It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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