What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
