There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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