he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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