So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
