He is an equal opportunity slut.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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