new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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