And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
