you guys were way drunker than both of me
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
