so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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