I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
