so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
