Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
So apparently I’m into choking now
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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