i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
