Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
