The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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