Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
