white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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