it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
