I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
