She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
