i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
