yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
pray to the hookup gods
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
