He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
