My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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