I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
