You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
