I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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