People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
