More tranny stories later!
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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