I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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