she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Houston, we have a blender
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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