so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
what day is it and did you see me today?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
