oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
