I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
