Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
