Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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