I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
